I started to explain self-silencing in my last post. Now, before going more into the research, I want to mention the scale for measuring self-silencing, which belongs to Jack (1992).
In this scale, there are 4 subscales to measure subconstructs of self-silencing, which are:
1- Externalized self-perception, which aims to measure how people, especially women since the research derived from women’s clinical interviews, judge themselves by external standards.
2- Care as self-sacrifice, which is about the women’s cognitive schema of intimate relationships that attachment or “love” can be maintained by putting others’ needs before their own.
3- Silencing the self, which is about silencing themselves. The main purpose here is not to lose the relationship, so you withhold your opinions and feelings. In other words, you do not express yourself to avoid conflict and losing your relationship.
4- The divided self, which is about depression actually since Jack (1991,1992) suggested that women experienced depression resulting from divided self since they silence themselves and conflict with their internal reality.
I put the scale items here so that you can understand which items are under what subscale. Also, you can test your self-silencing behaviors. The scale is 5-point Likert, which means:
5= strongly agree, 1= strongly disagree.
~ Good Luck ~
Externalized Self-Perception
1. I tend to judge myself by how I think other people see me.
2. I feel dissatisfied with myself because I should be able to do all the things people are supposed to be able to do these days.
3. When I make decisions, other people’s thoughts and opinions influence me more than my own thoughts and opinions.
4. I often feel responsible for other people’s feelings.
5. I find it hard to know what I think and feel because I spend a lot of time thinking about how other people are feeling.
6. I never seem to measure up to standards I set for myself.
Care as Self-Sacrifice
7. I think it is best to put myself first because no one else will look out for me. *
8. Caring means putting the other person’s needs in front of my own.
9. Considering my needs to be as important as those of the people I love is selfish.
10. In a close relationship, my responsibility is to make the other person happy.
11. Caring means choosing to do what the other person wants, even when I want to do something different.
12. In order to feel good about myself, I need to feel independent and self-sufficient. *
13. One of the worst thing I can do is to be selfish.
14. Doing things just for myself is selfish.
15. In a close relationship I don’t usually care what we do, as long as the other person is happy.
Silencing the Self
16. I don’t speak my feelings in an intimate relationship when I know they will cause disagreement.
17. When my partner’s needs and feelings conflict with my own, I always state mine clearly. *
18. Instead of risking confrontations in close relationships, I would rather not rock the boat.
19. I speak my feelings with my partner, even when it leads to problems or disagreements. *
20. When my partner’s needs or opinions conflict with mine, rather than asserting my own point of view I usually end up agreeing with him/her.
21. When it looks as though certain of my needs can’t be met in a relationship, I usually realize that they weren’t very important anyway.
22. I rarely express my anger at those close to me.
23. I think it’s better to keep my feelings to myself when they do conflict with my partner’s.
24. I try to bury my feelings when they will cause trouble in my close relationship(s).
Divided Self
25. I find it harder to be myself when I am in a close relationship than when I am on my own.
26. I feel I have to act in a certain way to please my partner.
27. Often, I look happy on the outside, but inwardly I feel angry and rebellious.
28. In order for my partner to love me, I cannot reveal certain things about myself to him/her.
29. When I am in a close relationship, I lose my sense of who I am.
30. My partner loves and appreciates me for who I am.*
31. I feel that my partner does not know my real self.
Be careful while scoring:
The ones with (*) means the items are reverse-coded. So, when you measure your self-silencing behaviors in the relationship, you add these items reversely.
If you give normally 5, that means when you reverse, it is 1. (The right is reversed coded)
5-1, 4-2, 3-3, 2-1, 1-5
References
Jack, D. C. (1991). Silencing the self: Women and depression. Harvard University Press.
Jack, D. C., & Dill, D. (1992). The Silencing the Self Scale: Schemas of intimacy associated with depression in women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 16(1), 97–106. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-6402.1992.tb00242.x
Morreau, J. (c. 1983). Woman and Mirror [Painting]. Pallant House Gallery, Chichester, UK. Retrieved April 5, 2025, from https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/woman-and-mirror-335332
Silencing the Self Scale (STSS). EMERGE. (n.d.). https://emerge.ucsd.edu/r_3mlhyd46hymxfyh/
