Sometimes you judge people by watching them getting married in their early 20s or much younger. However, as you start to understand life and grow older, you realize how complicated, fragile, and discouraging it actually is. This shows the dilemma, which is the contradiction between what you want to do and what you have to do. Because I am just growing up. A girl who is afraid of growing up but eager to live life. At the same time, I am a woman full of ideas, anger, and hunger for success.
For example, Psychology is my greatest passion, but in this life, I want to be successful not only academically, but in every field. Like most of the woman who work in my field or Stem. It doesn’t matter in general I think, we want to be successful both professionally and as a person because when you look at the bigger picture, we want to be a wife, a mother, and a companion. At the same time, we want to remain “ourselves”; a life with ourselves, not only in the content of that life, but as a whole.
Femininity, motherhood, and altogether, carrying both pain and beauty in it.
We fear being a little bit of everything but not being complete in any of them. Like someone can say “I want to be a career woman, and I want to be not only a mother but also a mother of my children” or “I want to be able to remain me at home, at work, and in relationships. The thoughts of not being able to establish this balance sometimes overwhelm me”.
And I think the reason behind this is life is not a path that we can walk with a single identity. Being a woman is like that, too. Sometimes you feel like a girl, sometimes you feel like your mother, sometimes you carry an infinite power inside of you, sometimes an indescribable fear.
Growing up is like that. Living with the universal life that crosses your mind even in the simplest moments… Silencing your inner voice while ordering coffee, looking in the mirror, or just being mesmerized by a record. But at the same time, we laugh with a little joy even in that chaos.
Sometimes being alone is nice, but the dream of being “one” with that “one person” is also nice. I know how to love myself and spend time with myself. But the current one-day systems provide excitement at the cost of a life without compromising its own structure.
Being a woman… Being on a journey with choices, passions, fears, loves, sometimes alone, sometimes crowded, but always… And it is now on record that a woman’s dreams are not any less valuable just because they are different. Like Meg March: “Just because my dreams are different from yours, they are no less important.”
