In my previous blog, I explained the two themes about intimate partner violence among LGB individuals from the article Unheard Voices of LGB People in Türkiye on LGB-specific Experiences of Intimate Partner Violence: A Qualitative Analysis (Ummak et al., 2024). Today, I will explain the last two themes, which are disclosure of sexual orientation and binegativity.
3. Disclosure of Sexual Orientation
Being open about our sexual orientation is often challenging or unsafe in our country, unfortunately, due to the social stigma, homophobia, discrimination, and even threats of violence and death. Thus, many LGBTQ+ individuals in Türkiye cannot come out even to their families or close friends. When we think about it, this problem might seem relevant to every queer person; however, it is not. In some regions, mostly in the center of the cities, some queer people may feel safer and more comfortable about being open, or when their families are open-minded and understanding. However, due to individual differences, not all queer people can come out comfortably. This might affect some power dynamics in LGBTQ+ relationships, e.g., when one is open, but the other one is not. Therefore, some abusive partners might use this as a weapon in the relationship to get what they want. This type of intimate partner violence happens in three ways:
a) Threats of being outed
When the partner threatens to reveal their partner’s sexual orientation to family, friends, or others, the fear of being outed by the partner harms the person and results in emotional damage, even though the threat is never carried out.
b) Fear of being outed
When there is a possibility that the partner discloses their partner’s sexual orientation intentionally or by accident, even if there is no explicit threat, which can create constant anxiety.
c) Being outed through actions
When the partner discloses their partner’s sexual orientation without consent to gain control or as revenge, which might cause serious problems in Türkiye, such as discrimination in work or school.
The power imbalance is clear in all these cases. The partner who is closed feels anxiety and fear of being outed, so they might feel that they must do what their partner wants or maintain the relationship.
4. Binegativity
Binegativity means stereotypes, prejudice, or negative attitudes and behaviors toward bisexual individuals, performed by both LGBTQ+ and heterosexual individuals. The article explained 2 forms of binegativity:
a. Bisexual Stereotype
People unfairly label bisexuals as promiscuous or unfaithful. When their partners are influenced by these stereotypes, they might assume that their bisexual partners are eventually going to cheat on them, so these stereotypes might cause struggle for the partners in terms of trusting bisexual partners.
b. Bisexual Jealousy
Some people can feel insecure because they know their bisexual partner could be attracted to more than one gender, which might result in controlling behaviors, accusations, or constant questioning.
When we look at these two forms of binegativity, it is clear that the underlying belief is that they cannot be trusted because they are not attracted to one gender. I have even heard harmful stereotypes in my real life saying that bisexual people are traitors because they always have the option of ‘normality’. So, they never fight with you, eventually they choose the easy option, meaning women choose men and men choose women at the end of the day.
In summary, I briefly explained the last two forms of intimate partner violence in queer relationships. I hope this way of categorizing and showing the behaviors and thoughts can help us understand how violence might happen in queer relationships. To learn more and see the examples of these themes, I recommend reading the article 🙂
References
Ummak, E., Toplu Demirtaş, E., & Özkan, H. (2024). Unheard voices of LGB people in Türkiye on LGB
specific experiences of intimate partner violence: A qualitative analysis. Violence Against Women, 31(8),
1727–1752. https://doi.org/10.1177/10778012241247195
